Being a parent

She  came into our hands on Dec 9th 2015 , so tiny and perfect and so loud :) . The poor thing was pulled out of her cozy place and now she had to get used the bright world outside. To say that the experience of giving birth is beautiful is a little bit of an exaggeration... but yes be due to all those drugs injected into us the feeling is beautiful. 

The first thing I remember is her cry, Oh poor thing she must have been so scared to be pulled out by a bunch of strangers and then I zoned out. When I regained memory we were back in our room only thing different was that it was brighter now :) an angel had come into our lives. Before I got to see her I think my family members around the world got her pic thanks to my husband who was whatsapping everyone possible and was ecstatic whereas I was lying on the bed like a zombie :).

The first few days are difficult for a new mother as all these changes in her body and heart are new and there is a sense of joy and sadness that keeps washing over us. Joy to see our lovely darlings and sad coz you already start judging yourself and let yourself down.The baby is adjusting you are asjusting and everything is chaos . There is no set time for anything and it just looks like an endless day .

Slowly with time both the mother and the baby get used to each other. From around the third month every day is like a surprise. Each day the baby and the parent learn new things and it is a wonderful experience

It is not until you are a mother or father that you actually get the depth of its power. You instantly become a little more mature than you were before , you are still yourself but somehow feel more grounded. You develop a sense of protectiveness which was not there before.

9 months

Its been 7 months since she came out and I still feel like it was yesterday ...

I have sat down to write this blog many times but the feeling of expecting a child and then being a mother is so new and wonderful that it feels like I am taking my first steps along with my baby and I couldn't figure out where or how to start or put it all in words.

Being pregnant...

So one fine day I found out that I was pregnant and there started my new phase of life...a journey towards motherhood. Looking back now I can only but smile as I didn't feel any connection with the peanut sized munchkin in there in the beginning of my pregnancy ... I felt guilty that I was a bad mother and I used to fear that my baby will sense this and might feel sad or even hate me, this was when she was like wayyyyyyy small like I said the size of  a peanut :) .

In the older days I wonder how women survived without internet. Nowadays we google every pregnancy sympton and cross check if we have it ... tiredness check.... nausea double check ....insomnia yipppeeee,so we are like super happy if we are tired nauseated irritable and feeling bloated, on the other hand if we are feeling fine then we call up the doc ..."Doc, there is something worng with me or my baby .... I feel fine". I wonder whether doctors have to go through a course on patience to deal with patients who test their patience :).

The first time I felt connected to my baby was the day I saw her wave on the ultrasound machine ...My husband and I thought that our baby was already a genius :) I think all parents secretly think that way...

Its not until the 6th or 7th month that we actually feel the baby and that is another worry a new mother to be has. Why is my baby not moving? Is it cramped in there or is it too slow ? Should it be more active? Is it mentally alright? All these questions pop up simultaneously in our minds. We google hundreds of sites and find out all possible solutions (that other women have tried :) ) to make the baby move ,drink cold juice or drink sugary liquids , lay down on your left side and believe me everyone would have tried these out atleast once during their pregnancy.

Then there is the freaking hormones that keep messing our heads. It's too hot in here ... no no cold... so my husband hates me , he didn't look back when leaving to office ...oh he thinks I am fat, he didn't hug me for the umpteenth time today.. my family hates me ... my friends hate me ... MY BABY hates me. I used to think that mood swings were just our imagination but no once my baby was out I love myself and so does the world!!! :)

By the time your 5 to 6 months pregnant you are used to being pregnant and carrying a ball under your clothes and just when you get comfortable with yourself there comes the insomnia. So its night 2:00 am or should I call it early morning and all I can think of is a plate of nice chinese noodles with lots of MSG in it or a slice of pizza with loads of extra cheese or even a nice fizzy sweet drink... the list just keeps going on , and then I turn around to find my husband sleeping peacefully and that is when I realize I have a secret psychopath in me as I think "God he did this to me, I want to kill him". Then you go back to your list of untouchable foods.

Through all of this confusion and changes in my body and soul there was one figure by me who tried his best to be there and help me in whatever way humanly possible ... my husband. I wanted us to experience the pregnancy together so that he and I both get to bond with our angel and there begins the twist to our story.

Have I mentioned it earlier , we stay in Chennai , a place know for its heat and humid weather where rain is scarce and people are worried about heat strokes. Not the case in 2015. So it was one fine morning in Nov 2015 when it started raining and we were very happy as it was a welcoming change but our happiness didnt stay long as one day of rain almost became a month of rain and there were floods everywhere. It humbles me when I think about the power of nature, with all our latest technologies and know how we still cant beat a simple rain if it decides to bless us with more. I can think and reflect on all this now as it was in the past but during that time we almost died of fear. There was no contact with our doctor or hospitals or even our family. Telephones, internet , television all were out and we were like a bunch of refugees stuck on an island with no food or water (can you believe it no water in between all that rain). It was a miracle that I escaped from there with the help of our friends who had to push me on a rubber float. Before all this happened there was this time when I used to think of birthing plan , should I go for a water birth (which seemed highly possible with the  floods) or should I go for normal delivery...all that changed within a blink of an eye , all I wanted now was a hospital to give birth.  Through all these wordly pain my baby slept in me cozy and warm ready for the world she will come into and on Dec 9th 2015 just after all those rains she came into our lives like a ray of sunshine and washed all that pain away.

Wait Wait there is more... I for one thought that giving birth was the end of the story but this was where our chapter began and there is no end to the experiences one has when they are new parents. All I can say is that the first 2 months are the toughest and then on you get a boost of energy whenever the baby simles or coos or holds your finger or even sneezes, bless her, a boost of energy to hang in there and go through sleepless nights and feeding and cleaning.

Motherhood... is one hell of a rollacoaster and you don't get the feeling until you ride one but once on it you never want it to stop :).

Back in India...back home

Its a good feeling to be back home... home ...let me say that once again HOME...doesn't it sound nice too? Just four little letters with such amazing comfort when put together :).This is the first time after our marriage that we are staying together in India and we are home. We did have fun outside of India ... the snowy days of London and the rainy days of Singapore but being back in India and moreover in our own little place ... It is the first time we actually spent time setting up our home... picking up furniture , buying an oven...etc.. and although it sound a little silly...it just gives me so much happiness to write this mail sitting on couch that we got drinking a cup of hot Inidan masala tea and eating some nice crispy chakli.

Its the first time in five years that we have met family and friends for more than once in a month and taken a trip together and the first time we have attended family functions together :). These small things add up to so much in life . These small things that we take so much for granted are missed only when we don't have them.

So I am happy to be back HOME and start this phase of life. :)




 

In the end

It all seems like yesterday

even the fraction of the second that I am writing this is in the past.

What remains are just memories, memories of good and bad times.

Life gets over before you even think of it. Remember the days in school where you yearned to grow up and now when we are all grown up what we yearn the most is to have the peace of mind that we had when we were kids.

So why is that not possible. Why can't we be as free as we were when we were kids. We want to be successful and we want to achieve everything possible in life. We run behind material happiness when the truth is all that is an illusion.

The only thing that finally remains after all that running around is the memories of times with loved ones.

Be Happy
Live Happy
Happiness is a choice, choose to be happy

Coconut chammandi podi

Ingredients :
- Grated coconut - 3 cups
- Urad dal - 1/4 cup
- Curry leaves - 20 leaves
- Tamarind - 3 small pieces, size of a peanut
- Red chilli powder - as per taste
- Salt - as per taste
- Jaggery - small pieces (size of a grape)

Method:
- In frying pan fry the urad daal and curry leaves
- When urad dal is golden brown add the grated coconut
- Keep the heat in low and fry the coconut till golden brown
- When the coconut is fried add the red chilli powder
- Turn off the heat and cool it down
- In a mixer add the coconut, tamarind, jagger and salt and grind the mix well

Delicious coconut chammandi podi is ready. You can serve this with Dosa/Idle or even plain rice

Thinking nonsense

As the title suggests this blog is on thinking about trivial matters and imagining the worst cases for almost everything in life to such and extent that after a point of time its just thinking "NONSENSE".

Some of the things are :
1. What will the other person think of you?
2. What if you can't answer some question that they ask?
3. God, how could I not know such a simple thing.
The list goes on...
Though it does not seem so this is a very common problem and has to be consciously cured with the help of your loved ones and more than anyone YOURSELF
If it is speaking to a person that you are hesitant about and that you are not able to overcome that. The only way to cure this is to
SPEAK TO THE RESPECTIVE PERSON
Go ahead, at the most he/she might not respond. That is all that can happen and so there is no point in torturing yourself with such torturous things. You can move on to something more useful to spend your time.
There is no other way to deal with such thought but face it head on.
Well I hope you not hesitant about jumping in front of a train or so... In which case I would suggest a psychiatrist :).
Always keep 1 or 2 trusted friends who will always boost you when you approach them with your fears.
You have one life
and each day is a past
Live your life today
So your past is memorable
and your future is exciting
YOU CAN DO IT :)

Learning Chinese - Lesson 1 - Tone

Tone is very important in Chinese. There are 5 tones in Chinese and they are as follows:

* high level – first tone
* rising – second tone
* falling rising – third tone
* falling – fourth tone
* neutral - no tone

Many characters have the same sound so to differentiate the words tone is also used. This is called Pin Yin.

Pin Yin uses either numbers or tone marks to indicate the tones. Here is the word ‘ma’ with tone marks:

* First tone: ma1 or mā
* Second tone: ma2 or má
* Third tone: ma3 or mǎ
* Fourth tone: ma4 or mà

The tones are used to determine the meaning of a word. So mǎ (horse) is very different from mā (mother).

Here is a video on pronunciation Click here